What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
