That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Randomize
