you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
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