The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize