I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
