I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
