I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
