I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
