Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
