So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
