Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
