i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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