'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
