She's JV to your varsity
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
