Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Your cock deserves a montage
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
