Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
