bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
