I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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