so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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