I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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