You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Randomize
