Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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