12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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