your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i think my mom watched the whole time
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
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