I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
he had hair everywhere except his balls
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
