rhymes with "ouble enetration"
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
