I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
