please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize