She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Panties = found
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