I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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