So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
