Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize