Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
