look no pants
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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