My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
a search helicopter?!
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
You did what with his pubic hair?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
