Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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