what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
