Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize