yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
