My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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