let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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