i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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