You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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