waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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