So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
