Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
