I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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