worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
MIDGETS
????
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
