I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
