Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Quick, to the slutcave!
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
