So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
