Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Randomize
