Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
