I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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