I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize