The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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