yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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