So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
It's never too late to be topless.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Randomize