You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Non-Jews are for practice
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
