Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Randomize
