Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
